Edventures in Normalcy

Perception is Relative

Posted by Rose Bush on January 5th, 2016

Actions speak louder than words, and I find some actions speak poorly.  I find the LGBT world has a duality to it.  I belong to the transgender community, which is where I run into this the most.  For example, I pulled an article from here:

http://www.cambio.com/2015/09/17/what-happened-when-i-revealed-to-men-on-tinder-that-im-a-transg/

The body is below, images are clickable, and although you may not need to see them all, you will get the idea.

tindra

“To put it plain and simply, dating sucks. Online dating sucks even more. And online dating as a transgender woman is pretty much a modern-day Greek tragedy. That being said, afterrecently undergoing gender-confirming surgery, I’ve been making a concerted effort to put myself out there and meet new people. According to many of my friends, Tinder was a good place to start. A little bit jaded and slightly pessimistic, I reluctantly decided to embark on a social experiment of sorts.

The reality of navigating dating world is that everyone has baggage that they’re weary about revealing to potential suitors. At the end of the day, we’re all human beings who want to be accepted and appreciated in our entirety. And the idea of having someone reject you because of a fundamental component of your identity is daunting enough to make a person avoid dating all together.

So as a young transwoman living in New York City, I’ve always been pretty freaking nervous about how guys could react when I reveal to them that I was born biologically male, even though I identify and live my life as female. After all, transwomen are all too often beaten and murdered for no reason other than their gender identities.

That’s exactly why the idea of online dating appealed to me despite it’s inherent shittiness and utter lack of romance. It opened up a space where I could disclose my transgender status to men from the safety of my phone without having to worry about putting myself in a potentially violent or dangerous situation (which is the reality for all of us transwomen). I decided to reveal my truth to men who I had matched with on Tinder and their responses were not always what I expected…

Of course there was the expected invasiveness, as you can see in the exchanges below. (PROTIP: Instead of asking a transwoman about her genitals right off the bat, try asking about her hobbies.)”

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The above shows how to ridicule the ignorant, and come of as rude.  Yes, I face odd and peculiar questions, but since when is it wrong to be curious from an ignorant perspective.  When I was 5, I would ask some pretty awful/great questions.

 6QMkQ1T

 

Inclusiveness

 

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